oh wat a great last couple of days ive had
woke up saturday and did like nothing all day and then i went to the rsl and saw old friends and drank beer and got a kebab and kicked a real estate sign in half
and then on sunday i did nothing, which slightly resembled monday
but today, being tuesday, i got a greenslip for my car, and washed it
and i went to the bank, and bought ice cream and had a nap, so ive been very productive

snaps for me

not much else has been happening, hanging out for the end of semester
gunna get a shitty job, as a pizzaboy or something, and just hit the gym all day
its gunna be the best summer eva

and then im gunna meet a nice girl
i HOPE!

Current Location: ice cream...
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Sleepy Jackson

hmmm
well its thursday night, about 7pm, feels like the afternoon has gone forever
i am drinking a glass of cab sav, cant remember the brand
its ok, not fantastic, but thats the luck of the draw
besides im only drinking it so i fall asleep

so last week and this week proved to be rather arduous, but wat can u do?
i can see the finish line in front of me and im reaching out for it and then i can sleep in

so i went to he gym this morning, pumping iron at like 630am before uni, just walking round with an incredible surging feeling of positivity
i love going to the gym, people are exercising, there's music, its a very positive environment, its better than hanging round with people who just wanna bitch about stuff

i watched the steve irwin memorial yesterday, and wow it upset me so much, i loved all those little clips where he'd just be talkin about stuff, how he lost his mother and like the pain he went through and stuff and how when u lose someone that u owe it to that person to just get up and keep going
and it just cut me apart, made me think bout my cousin and stuff
poor terri though, her grimacing face behind sunglasses, it was heartbreaking

so im feeling very positive about things, things are starting to happen for me, uni is really coming together, i am gunna be ready for exams like never b4, im exercising, not eating any junk food, all everntually culminating in meeting a fabulous girl who is like available
ive met a load of great girls recently, but they all have boyfriends, and they are all total losers too, but wat can ya do

Current Location: mars
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: greenday

so i just sent sally a msg being all happy birthday and stuff and she msged me back just all "yeah thanks"
but like wat was i expecting
i think that my problem with her is that i am still desperate for her to acknowledge me for wat i am
when i consider the sacrifices i made going to tafe and then to uni, working all the while, losing contact with friends, and tolerating her, hoping for better days, never once did she see wat i was doing was ultimately for our future
and i spose that was the crucial difference between us, the achilles heel of the relationship
i always thought about us
and she always thought about herself

and in love, such a thing cannot exist...

hmmm im procrastinating really bad atm
i have a lab reprt to write, well 2 even, due thursday and i also have a test, it also doesnt help that i had the entire weekend and i sorta sat around and stuff
but that was good
uni is just killing me recently, i hate it so much and have thought about the possibilies and ramifications of just leaving
i think i just wanna sleep in or something

anywayz so i went to the gym today, i pumped it fair hard, and i came home and had just a tiny little power nap

i think i am going to wag lectures tomorrow, mainly coz the guy isa douche and i could be doing other things, like thinking bout all the other things i could be doing

oh well, have a week off next week, and im gunna sleep in like there is no tomorrow

Current Location: dreamland
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: none

hmm well then
i spose ive spent the day totally spacing out
brainstorming sort of
and ive came up with a few ideas

1) going to the gym in the morning
2) i need to get really good at doing the robot
3) sally was a total waste of time
4) im not gunna get this other one

so im feeling like, pointless or something
but thats not so bad
so feeling proud of myself and eager for the challenges ahead
i ripped open this 21st glass thing that sally got me for my birthday, u know the type u r sposed to put somewhere and never use
well i ripped the piece of shit open and i am now using it to drink a beer, and then i might smash it

im gunna go to bed sorta early and then just throw myself into uniwork and going to the gym, and then i'll be totally distracted and not think bout finding a girlfriend so much

perfect!

Current Location: the edge of of foreva
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: silverchair - black tangled heart

and so it begins...
wow my own livejournal *licks screen* mmm it tastes just like i thought it would
i know im a good 4 years late with having a blog or wateva
but the hell with it, im over just emailing people my crap, plus i always think i need a journal or something to compare how im feeling at different times, and too look back and think "oh god wat was i thinking"
i dont really expect anyone to read this, so im just gunna tell it like it is

for anyone that doesn't know
my name is Ryan, i am 21, i study medicinal chemistry at the uni of the gong,
my xgf is sally, she is a bitch, we were together for about 5 years, and so i still always tend to think about her
i fall in love with a new girl everyday in my quest to meet this amazingly wonderfully nice, charming, sassy, considerate and supportive girlfriend, but most of all i want someone with a great sense of humour
if you fit these criteria, let me know, u will save me alot of time

this jounral is going to be filled with loads of shit
and coz i tend to go off the deep end alot, i will prolly write crap here everyday, i am very emotional and sensitive and my moods swing like....like a swing! i'll prolly talk bout this girl i really like atm, about everything that was wrong with sally, wat i think is wrong with me, and how i plan to fix it all

so yeah....

Current Location: kitchen
Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: (none)